But it’s been a few weeks since I have even stepped foot in a gym. I think I have lost my mojo. No, I most definitely have lost my mojo.
About three weeks ago, we found out that in less than a week, my eldest son who has not long gone three-years-old, will head back into the Royal Children’s Hospital for his fourth surgery. This one will hopefully be the last. But it is also definitely the biggest. I knew that it was coming, but when we finally found out, it was like a kick in the guts. I just wish I could go through these hard times for him, not with him.
I don’t tell many people, but my son was born with a rare genetic abnormality that has left his perfect little body with a couple of things that require a little modification. He also requires a blood test every six weeks and ultrasounds every 12 weeks to ensure he hasn’t got anything nasty growing (cancerous tumours).
It’s been a tough 3 years to be honest, but after a while you sort of just get used to your reality. In the beginning, it was like being thrown to the wolves. I wasn’t even sure how to be a parent, truth is, I still have no idea, but to be thrown a curve ball like we did, was definitely some initiation to parenthood. My son for the most part is healthy, very healthy, but we need to make sure it stays that way, I guess I’m reminded every day, with a tiny human, that you just shouldn’t take your health for granted, that it’s precious and for some people, they get dealt their hand in a little worse off position than others, so if you’re playing with a strong hand, stop taking it for granted!
Most people I know have no idea. Who needs to know my problems? People are paying me to help them with theirs. So that’s what I do. I’ve been wanting to do some kind of story about my son for sometime and maybe sometime in the future I’ll delve a little deeper into it, but for now, I just don’t like discussing it. He’s perfect. He’s my perfect and that’s all the world needs to know.
So anyway, tomorrow, I’ll set my alarm and try and find my mojo, walk into the gym and do what I love to do; put two ear buds in my ears and lift something heavy. I will once again, lead by example.
I’m not perfect, I’ve got an excuse, I’m human after all. If you expected more, you should spend more time looking within yourself to be inspired.
I guess the point of this is that it’s ok to be derailed from your routine, it’s ok to be slowed down, it’s ok to stop and take a breath. Once I’ve had my moment to feel sorry for my boy, to feel sorry for myself, I’ll be back on my way. I’ll be that guy again, because it’s who I am. It’s who people need me to be. Including my boy.
